


Sentences Sets

by Anne-Li (Anneli)



Category: From Eroica with Love
Genre: Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-11-24
Updated: 2015-12-03
Packaged: 2017-10-13 08:43:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 15,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/135360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anneli/pseuds/Anne-Li
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is in answer to a challenge. One sentence per word, each telling a story. Some crossovers, very different topics. Doesn't follow the challenge strictly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Alpha Set

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into 日本語 available: [日本語訳: Sentences Sets - Alpha Set](https://archiveofourown.org/works/224075) by [BasilLeaves](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BasilLeaves/pseuds/BasilLeaves)



1\. **Comfort** \- Dorian takes comfort for granted - Bonham sees to it that he can.

2\. **Kiss** \- When Dorian started to refer to Klaus's habit of hitting him as Klaus's way of kissing him, Klaus considered the concept - but he didn't stop hitting Dorian.

3\. **Soft** \- When Iron softens, Gold melts.

4\. **Pain** \- Klaus likes a bit of pain with his pleasure, so he keeps hitting Dorian in hope that one day the man will catch on and hit back.

5\. **Potatoes** \- For their second date, Dorian brought Klaus a bouquet of potato flowers, since at least Klaus would recognize those.

6\. **Rain** \- Dorian loves it when it rains - even when Klaus puts the moth-eaten half of the umbrella over him.

7\. **Chocolate** \- When Dorian truly wants to hide something from Klaus, he puts it in the box of chocolates - this hiding place hasn't let him down yet.

8\. **Happiness** \- Klaus had been awake for well over 50 hours, he'd been half drowned, temporarily imprisoned, flirted with, shot at repeatedly, actually shot twice, hadn't eaten, hadn't smoked, the Alphabet had been as useful as usual - but he had finally retrieved the microfilm, successfully ending his mission, and thus he was happy.

9\. **Telephone** \- Dorian keeps trying to tempt Klaus into having phone sex with him, not just because they are often in separate countries, but also for the added thrill of expensive phone calls—knowing that James at any moment could realise and react.

10\. **Ears** \- The parts of his body that Dorian dislikes the most are his ears - that is why he has let his hair grow out so much, so he won't have to see his hideous ears.

11\. **Name** \- One reason why Klaus is still against marrying is that neither wishes to relinquish their surname, but hyphenating would be really awkward.

12\. **Sensual** \- Dorian adores watching Klaus shoot: each economic, well-trained move a sensual delight - yes, that hidden camera at the shooting track is worth every penny.

13\. **Death** \- On Judgement Day the dead will rise from their graves - and Major Klaus Heinz von dem Eberbach will bang his forehead against his tombstone, because - yes, there's the fop, and death has lessened neither his ardour nor his determination.

14\. **Sex** \- Accidentally seeing his father and their butler having sex shocked Klaus so badly that he repressed the entire subject - now he just can't figure out what it is the friendly Englishman actually wants from him.

15\. **Touch** \- It's not that Klaus doesn't like to be touched - it's that he doesn't like to be touched by anyone who is not his equal.

16\. **Weakness** \- If Klaus gives in to Dorian, he fears it'll end up like his other weaknesses - smoking and coffee - and he'll get completely, helplessly addicted.

17\. **Tears** \- After someone dies, Klaus runs in the rain - not to hide tears, but to hide that he never cries.

18\. **Speed** \- After a few less than successful attempts, Dorian managed to teach Klaus that while speed and efficiency were usually good things, in bed they were counterproductive.

19\. **Wind** \- Wind in his hair and a Neo-Nazi in the sight of his rifle, oh yes - this is life!

20\. **Freedom** \- Monogamy is like prison for Dorian - but his freedom is the prize he was always prepared to pay for the biggest heist of them all.

21\. **Life** \- "Gold is life!" James would wail - but no one ever understood that on his home planet gold was the only thing edible.

22\. **Jealousy** \- _Stupid to be jealous of a bloody painting!_ Klaus told himself most firmly - and yet …

23\. **Hands** \- Dorian deserves a lover who will wait on him hand and foot - and Klaus knows he is not such a man.

24\. **Taste** \- Nescafé is an acquired taste - Dorian acquired it by kissing.

25\. **Devotion** \- Reason for divorce: the man devotes more time to his Magnum than to me!

26\. **Forever** \- Major Klaus Heinz von dem Eberbach is a forever kind of guy - but he's not fully convinced yet that Dorian is.

27\. **Blood** \- _It's in their blood,_ Heinz von dem Eberbach thinks as he sees his son with the son of the man who had once been his own lover.

28\. **Sickness** \- "In sickness and in health" is all good and well for Klaus, but Dorian thinks that "Doctor and Patient" can be a bit of fun too.

29\. **Melody** \- _They're playing our song,_ Dorian thinks as the well-known melody of Beethoven's third was accentuated by the sharp, ringing bark of Magnums.

30\. **Star** \- When some stranger on the street exclaims that he must be a movie star, Dorian only smiles mysteriously and dodges the question.

31\. **Home** \- Gossip ran amok in Eberbach when Klaus von dem Eberbach brought his new husband home.

32\. **Confusion** \- Klaus would say what he wanted about the fop, but truth was that he considered the man a very valuable asset with which he could confuse and distract the enemy.

33\. **Fear** \- Dorian's silly and completely irrational fear of spiders held no end of amusement to Klaus - but he especially liked the thank you blow jobs he got after having "rescued" Dorian from one of the little creepers.

34\. **Lightning/Thunder** \- To get Klaus plastered and singing along to "Thunderbolts and lightning, very, very frightening--" yielded the best blackmail material Dorian had ever neglected to use.

35\. **Bonds** \- "While I do want to be bonded to you forever, I didn't necessarily mean by handcuffs - yes, yes, I know - shut up and run ..."

36\. **Market** \- Dorian had been in the market for a painting - but the living piece of art he found suited him even better.

37\. **Technology** \- Lawrence's technological gadgets got on Klaus's nerves - except for the sex toys, which went to his erogenous zones.

38\. **Gift** \- Klaus is terrible at buying gifts for people - luckily Dorian seems happy with sex-cheques.

39\. **Smile** \- Dorian considers Klaus's smile to be as priceless as Mona Lisa's.

40\. **Innocence** \- Klaus might give Dorian his virginity one day, but his innocence was taken many years before they met.

41\. **Completion** \- Dorian's art collection will never be complete, but somehow that matters less when Klaus's skilled hands bring Dorian to a different kind of completion.

42\. **Clouds** \- "Get your head out of the bloody clouds and pay attention!" Klaus would yell at Dorian sometimes - it meant "You were reckless and you scared me!"

43\. **Sky** \- When Klaus lost the bet and thus must allow Dorian to dress him for a day, he hadn't realised that "sky clad" had been one of the options.

44\. **Heaven** \- Klaus wasn't a bloody romantic, but when the heaven was as blue as Dorian's eyes that always made him feel better about his day.

45\. **Hell** \- Belonging to Dorian seemed a hellish prospect at first, but later Klaus reconsidered.

46\. **Sun** \- Only in total privacy will Klaus bare his skin to the sun - but occasionally he pretends to "not see" Dorian's spy cam.

47\. **Moon** \- Moonlight is better than sunlight for spying - and, Klaus also learns, for making love.

48\. **Waves** \- Klaus finds the curls and locks and waves of Dorian's hair fascinating - especially wrapped around his cock.

49\. **Hair** \- Dorian finds the silky smooth, straight strands of Klaus's hair fascinating - especially wrapped around his cock.

50\. **Supernova** \- Making your lover see stars is for underachievers, in Klaus opinion - he aims for supernovas or nothing at all.


	2. Alpha Set

1\. **Walking** \- Klaus was amazed to discover that he actually got a better workout by following Dorian on a shopping spree than just walking for the same amount of time - no wonder the fop kept so fit!

2\. **Waltz** \- Usually Dorian led their waltz of love, but now and then Klaus would sweep him off his feet and then holding on tight was all Dorian could do not to lose his footing.

3\. **Wishes** \- If wishes were gold, James would make many, many, many, many wishes!

4\. **Wonder** \- Seeing Klaus's eyes darken during their first kiss, Dorian couldn't help but to wonder what his beloved's eyes would look like when they made love.

5\. **Worry** \- Each time Dorian left him for a heist, Klaus worried - would this be the time he would have to actually break the fop out of prison so that they could flee the country together?

6\. **Whimsy** \- Klaus thinks that Dorian is one of the most whimsical persons he has ever met - but he doesn't complain too much when Dorian gives in to one of his whims and breaks into the Waffen Museum Suhl to steal Klaus an anniversary gift.

7\. **Waste/Wasteland** \- Dorian has sown a seed of love that slowly grows in what used to be a wasteland in Klaus's heart.

8\. **Whiskey and rum** \- When liberal amounts of whiskey and rum finally brought Klaus to Dorian's bed, Dorian, sadly enough, was too busy being sick in the bathroom to thoroughly enjoy the experience.

9\. **War** \- All is fair in love and war, but as far as the "take no prisoners" thing goes, Dorian actually likes taking prisoners, because Klaus looks hot in chains.

10\. **Weddings** \- After having sabotaged Klaus's wedding plans no less than four times, Dorian felt very silly when he realised that it was actually him Klaus intended to marry.

11\. **Birthday** \- Volovolonte always gave the best birthday presents, however Dorian couldn't help but think, as he looked down at the bound and gagged NATO major in his bed, that this time the mob leader just might have bought both of them a world of trouble.

12\. **Blessing** \- Confronted by the staggering news that his father had given him and Dorian his blessings, Klaus had no option but to let Dorian court him.

13\. **Bias** \- Klaus told himself firmly that he must not let his biases rule him; but the victories he enjoyed the most were when the German National Football Team beat England.

14\. **Burning** \- It didn't matter that James knew that the money they burned in the movie was fake, he screamed in abject terror anyway.

15\. **Breathing** \- Those Royal Canadian Mounted Police were half-way decent, for foreigners, and Klaus actually kind of liked training with them, but he most definitely drew the line at that "buddy breathing" perversion.

16\. **Breaking** \- If Iron ever breaks, Gold can bend around the iron foundation and still keep the structure together.

17\. **Belief** \- Belief can be a funny thing: every time he thinks that a day can't possibly get worse, there the fop shows up and Klaus is proven wrong.

18\. **Balloon** \- A sea of gaudy balloons, the crappiest rifle he had ever had the displeasure of handling and five quick shots earned Klaus a beyond any decency hideous purple stuffed tiger, which he refused to as so much as glance at though a very pleased-looking Dorian cradled it to his chest all the way back home from the amusement park.

19\. **Balcony** \- Like Evita on the balcony, Dorian turned back from the opened safe, arms out-stretched, but the curt "Fine, now get out of my way," he got from Klaus felt just as good as the adoration of the people.

20\. **Bane** \- Klaus had always known that the fop was the bane of his existence, but in the end he met his destiny with dignity - a good soldier must also know when it's time to surrender - and just this once surrendering proved highly enjoyable.

21\. **Quiet** \- Dorian has a nice voice, but Klaus enjoys silence the most; the quiet nights when they didn't have to say anything at all.

22\. **Quirks** \- For such a straight-laced man, Klaus unexpectedly had many little quirks - Dorian's current favourite was the way Klaus would carefully blend his Nescafe - and then absentmindedly, and in clear defiance of any table manners he must have been taught, lick the spoon he had used to stir with.

23\. **Question** \- Dorian had always known that Klaus was much too proud to take the first step (and never mind that Dorian had taken the first step a hundred times already), still - when the silent question in Klaus's eyes turned from "Haven't you given up yet?" to "You haven't given up yet, have you?" - he almost missed taking the only chance he would ever get to take the one first step that really mattered.

24\. **Quarrel** \- Like their love, their quarrels were epic.

25\. **Quitting** \- When NATO ordered Iron Klaus to seduce Eroica, his exact reply was "I quit" - but he still seduced Eroica (not that much seduction was necessary ...).

26\. **Jump** \- When Klaus ordered him to "Jump!", Dorian's response was never "How high?", but rather "Here I come, darling!"

27\. **Jester** \- As always, Dorian was amazed to see the depths Klaus was willing to go to in order to accomplish his mission, even if his frown deepened each time he moved his head, setting off a jingling from the small bells of his jester's cap.

28\. **Jousting** \- "No, I take it back," Dorian said and scooted away from his lover, "Don't think about it as jousting, it really doesn't work."

29\. **Jewel** \- Klaus refused to wear any other sign of commitment than an unadorned gold ring - but since the tiny jewel that had appeared on the sight of his pistol actually neither hindered his aim nor upset the balance of the gun, he just waited for it to fall off of its own accord.

30\. **Just** \- "Just shut up and cope," Dorian finally ordered and took Klaus into his arms - and Klaus had always been so very good at obeying orders ...

31\. **Smirk** \- On seeing Dorian fall for the old 'Oh, look, art!"-trick once more, Klaus couldn't help but to smirk, pleased that he could still outwit his lover.

32\. **Sorrow** \- Dorian would sometimes weave a romantic daydream web where Klaus rejected him because of some dark, deep sorrow of previous love spurned or killed - but when he found out that he was absolutely right, the dream turned out to be a nightmare.

33\. **Stupidity** \- Sometimes Dorian couldn't quite make up his mind whether Klaus's single-mindedness during his missions was due to bravery only - or whether a hint of stupidity was also involved.

34\. **Serenade** \- "Tried to serenade him again, did you, milord?" Bonham said softly as Dorian returned to the hotel suite, drenched to the skin and carrying a lute.

35\. **Sarcasm** \- "Iron Klaus!" Dorian said with a snort as he was getting dressed again, the sarcasm never leaving his voice as he continued, "More like Wet Noodle Klaus!"

36\. **Sordid** \- Dorian had thought Klaus would keep their relationship a sordid little secret, but he had not counted on Herr Hinkel's joy at discovering his Young Master's first attachment.

37\. **Soliloquy** \- Dorian soon decided that the soliloquy of Klaus's hands more than made up for the fact that he never made a sound in bed.

38\. **Sojourn** \- On returning to North Downs from his sojourn in Paris, Dorian fairly soon realised the capital mistake he had made by leaving James in charge - his first clue was the signs for "Many rooms available for rent! Perfect for office space!" and "Flea market! Prices set to sell!"

39\. **Share** \- When Klaus's new mission required him to flirt with a woman, he quickly learned that Dorian might be very, very generous - but he was not at all good at sharing.

40\. **Solitary** \- Klaus had always been a solitary creature, and he found Dorian's suggestion that they could be solitary _together_ highly suspicious.

41\. **Nowhere** \- From out of nowhere, James appeared!  
 _(Okay, so this one isn't very good, but for various reasons, it amuses me. Sorry about this.)_

42\. **Neutral** \- "Oh, thank god, _neutral_ , for a moment there I thought you said that the NATO troops had to be neutered."

43\. **Nuance** \- Over the years, Dorian had actually learned some nuances of Klaus's swearing - among them that if Klaus repeated himself, he was worried enough that he didn't bother to think up alternatives.

44\. **Near** \- "' Earl Red Cock And The Iron Fist', coming soon, to a porn shop near you!"

45\. **Natural** \- After having been in a relationship with the man for three days, Klaus was very surprised to find out that Dorian wasn't a natural blond.

46\. **Horizon** \- For the following five nights after his first attempt to "Widen Klaus's horizons" with regards to their sexual relationship, Dorian slept on the couch.

47\. **Valiant** \- To be valiant and chaste was all good and well in theory, but eventually Klaus realised that there was something to be said for being a valiant sex-god.

48\. **Virtuous** \- "I assure you," Dorian said, at the end of his patience, "that you can still be virtuous even after you're no longer a virgin, Klaus."

49\. **Victory** \- As Dorian slowly fitted the plain gold ring on Klaus's finger, the rush of love he felt almost overwhelmed him - victory was his!

50\. **Defeat** \- As Dorian slowly fitted the plain gold ring on his finger, Klaus reluctantly admitted defeat.


	3. Gamma Set

1. **Ring** \- When Klaus heard the rumour that Eroica had been seen in Spain with a dead ringer for none other than himself, Iron Klaus, he snorted disdainfully – and made a mental note that he'd have to wear a disguise next time they went on a holiday.

2. **Hero** \- "You're such a hero," Dorian grumbled under his breath as he dragged Klaus's unconscious body away from the room in which Klaus had valiantly tried to single-handedly combat a platoon of Neo-Nazis – until Dorian had filled the room with knock-out gas.

3. **Memory** \- Just as he hoarded his art treasures, Dorian hoarded his memories of Klaus's touches – they were of equal worth to him.

4. **Box** \- A ring of gold in a box of iron – somehow Dorian found Klaus's proposal befitting in many ways.

5. **Run** – Dorian thought it would be a splendid idea to go on the run with Klaus, up to the moment Klaus decided that they must both cut their hair.

6. **Hurricane** \- After their paths had been forced together by no less than one earthquake, two rogue hailstorms, a hurricane and a flooding, Klaus began to suspect that even Mother Nature was determined to get him and Dorian together.

7. **Wings** – Bonham is the wind beneath Dorian's wings – if necessary by way of anchoring Dorian to a rope and running ahead to get him up in the air.

8. **Cold** – While Klaus kept giving Dorian the cold shoulder, Dorian had something far warmer he wanted to give Klaus in return.

9. **Red** – "You probably heard, Mischa, but my name is Red now, Klaus Red."

10. **Drink** – "--And I would just like to one more time thank you all for coming to my and Klaus's wedding, now lets drink and be merry."

11. **Midnight** \- Dorian came to Klaus at midnight, but the warmth he brought with him brightened the dark hour.

12. **Temptation** – While Klaus battled temptation the hard way, resisting until no other option remained, Dorian preferred dealing with temptation the easy way – by yielding to it.

13. **View** \- "What a splendid view!" Dorian exclaimed and then, as sharp, green eyes glared down at him, hastily added: "This time I actually did mean the mountains, dear."

14. **Music** – _Pling, klink, plingaplinga-klink, klink, klink_ – oh, there never was a more beautiful music than this, that of coins slowly falling on other coins in a perfect symphony of sound, motion – and money!

15. **Silk** – Klaus reluctantly touched the piece of cloth with one hand, then fingered a strand of his hair with his other, before turning to Dorian: "It doesn't feel like silk at all, you stupid Brit!"

16. **Cover** – Dorian liked the extreme diligence Klaus showed when training for this new version of under cover assignments – as long as the assignments only took place under Dorian's own covers, that is.

17. **Promise** – "No, you stupid idiot, 'I'll be with you in a minute' is not a promise to love you forever!"

18. **Dream** – While Dorian dreams of Klaus and how he will finally seduce the tempting officer and they will live happily ever after; Klaus dreams of outsmarting Mischa, capturing all foreign spies and cleansing the world of Neo-Nazis; and James, well James – James dreams of money.

19. **Candle** – While a romantic dinner, dimly lit by candle light, soft music playing and eyes lovingly meeting sounded perfect to Dorian, he soon learned that what Klaus truly appreciated after a long working day was meat, plenty of fried potatoes, beer, football on the telly and a blowjob – but Dorian could work with that.

20. **Talent** – Of all of Klaus's many talents, one of Dorian's personal favorites was his apparent lack of gag reflex.

21. **Silence** – Silence is crucial or else they will be found – and Dorian has to bite his lips hard as Klaus gives him one of the best blowjobs he has ever had.

22. **Journey** – When Klaus finally succumbs to Dorian's touch, it is like embarking on a one-way journey – once his boat has left the shore he will never be able to go back.

23. **Fire** – Dorian flows into Klaus's life like a wind, fanning the cold fire in his heart until it heats and blossoms.

24. **Strength** – To the casual observer, James appears to be a delicate man, short and with little strength – but when it comes to jewels, gold and money, there is no limit to what he can carry!

25. **Mask** – Klaus's face is schooled to the classic mask of indifference – but sometimes, when Dorian laughs or says some of the things he says, Klaus really wants to smile back.

26. **Ice** – Sometimes Klaus wishes that he was Ice Klaus, not Iron Klaus – because he thinks that Dorian's smile for sure could melt a heart of ice, even if iron might prove to be too cold.

27. **Fall** – Klaus thinks that the sleeping Dorian looks like a fallen angel, and so he kneels by his side, waiting and watching, ready to worship.

28. **Forgotten** – "I'll never forget you, my love, my darling; oh what a cruel, unforgiving world this is, that tears us apart," James moaned, fat tears rolling down his cheeks, before he finally forced himself to surrender his pretty penny to the butcher.

29. **Dance** – Watching Klaus dance the Schuhplattler sets off Dorian to hysterics - and he gets no nookie for the rest of the week.

30. **Body** – Klaus's body is a temple – Dorian is the High Priest and he worships daily.

31. **Sacred** – Art is sacred to Dorian – but in his pursuit of love he is prepared to commit sacrilege.

32. **Farewells** – Each time they part, Dorian and Klaus say their farewells as if they would never meet again – in their lines of work, the future is never for sure.

33. **World** – Dorian's world is not Klaus's world, but sometimes Klaus wishes he could visit.

34. **Formal** – "Oh, don't be so formal, Dorian," Heinz von dem Eberbach said with a determined smile, "just call me Father."

35. **Fever** – Klaus first hoped that what he felt was a fever, but on second thought he wasn't about to wimp out and take any sick days, so in the end he decided that it wasn't a fever after all, and kissed Dorian.

36. **Laugh** – The first time Dorian hears Klaus laugh – really laugh – he is lost, completely, irrevocably – and he knows he will give up any treasure to hear this laughter again.

37. **Lies** – "I hate you," he lied.

38. **Forever** – Dorian had promised, "I will love you forever," which was good, because it took Klaus decades before he dared to believe him.

39. **Overwhelmed** – Strong emotions easily overwhelmed Klaus – that is why he avoided Dorian whenever he could, so that his weakness wouldn't get the better of him.

40. **Whisper** – In the icy cold of the Alaskan night, Klaus relied on the memory of the words Dorian often whispered in his ear to keep him warm.

41. **Wait** – Dorian gently nudged Klaus's chin up, so that the embarrassed man would meet his gaze, then he said softly: "Don't worry, I have waited this long and I'm not about to drop you now just because you were a bit hot off the handle."

42. **Talk** – "Father, Papa, there's something I need to talk to you about – I think I might be straight."

43. **Search** – Dorian travelled across the globe in his search for art and love, never realising that the man who loved him the best loyally followed him every step of the way.

44. **Hope** – Dorian reluctantly admitted that stealing the Hope diamond as an engagement gift might not have been such a good idea after all …

45. **Eclipse** – The first time Klaus kissed Dorian a lunar eclipse blackened the night to total darkness – but after that he never tried to hide their love again.

46. **Gravity** – "I'm not sure you appreciate the gravity of the situation, Major von dem Eberbach; if you continue to refuse to capture Eroica you might never get a promotion!"

47. **Highway** – As their first kiss turned to many, many more, the radio of Dorian's Lamborghini Countach began belting out "Highway to Hell" – and Klaus decided that even if so, he just didn't fucking care.

48. **Unknown** – "'Unavoidably detained by assailant or assailants unknown', who the hell does von dem Eberbach think he's kidding, we all know he was making out with that British Earl the entire time!"

49. **Lock** – The greatest thief on Earth considered the lock to his would-be lover's heart merely a formality – but the Magnum raised in its defence did give him pause.

50. **Breathe** – "I will love you till my dying breath," Dorian had promised – and in the end, he did.


	4. Delta Set

1\. **Air** \- The sweetest air Dorian ever breathed in was the breath Klaus sighed into his mouth the first time Dorian was finally all the way inside of him.

2\. **Apple** \- An apple might have doomed Eve; for Dorian all it took was a glare.

3\. **Beginning** \- Dorian was beginning to give up on ever winning Klaus's love, when he realised that Klaus had already loved him for some time.

4\. **Bugs** \- Klaus was even starting to tolerate James - as long as the bug did Klaus's taxes as well.

5\. **Coffee** \- Sex with Dorian was a very, very good thing in Klaus's book - but in the morning it could wait until after coffee, dammit.

6\. **Dark** \- Klaus prefers to make love in the dark - not because he's ashamed of what they do, but because he's embarrassed at how hard he blushes at some of Dorian's whispers.

7\. **Despair** \- Some days Klaus despaired at ever getting anything done; at others an Alphabet would unexpectedly do something right and Klaus would find new strength to deal with them.

8\. **Doors** \- When he found himself annoyed that his date couldn't pick the lock on a door, Klaus realised he had probably spent too much time thinking about someone who could.

9\. **Drink** \- While Klaus still kept a bottle of vodka in his bedside table drawer, he no longer drank before he let Dorian mount him.

10\. **Duty** \- Klaus had a duty to save all good German boys from the horny fop, even if it meant sacrificing himself in their stead - sometimes as often as three times a night.

11\. **Earth** \- Herr Hinkel carefully never speculated what his young master and his young master's British friend got up to on their long walks - he just did his best to remove the earth from the knees of his master's trousers.

12\. **End** \- The end of the world was near, so Klaus kissed Dorian - as he had done each of the other four times.

13\. **Fall** \- Fall colors around him as he jogs - an autumn whirl of red, yellow, orange, brown and purple - is the only type of art Klaus really appreciates.

14\. **Fire** \- Dorian would steal the fire from the Gods for Klaus, if only to light his cigarettes.

15\. **Flexible** \- Apparently flexibility was also a matter of discipline - something for which Dorian thanked NATO on a more or less nightly basis.

16\. **Flying** \- A really good heist had Dorian flying higher than any drug he had ever tested.

17\. **Food** \- An amazing variety of food can be prepared using potatoes as a key ingredient.

18\. **Foot** \- Dorian sometimes wondered why Klaus called him the pervert, when Klaus himself had a very pronounced foot fetish.

19\. **Grave** \- When Dorian swore on his mother's grave that he wouldn't flirt with Klaus for the rest of the mission, Klaus actually believed him.

20\. **Green** \- Dorian's plan to dress in military camouflage green to catch Klaus's interest succeeded better than he realised.

21\. **Head** \- Afterwards Dorian thought getting shot in the head – the bullet grazed his scalp, nothing more - was well worth having Klaus admit his love - at least since the scar could be easily hidden by his hair.

22\. **Hollow** \- Typically for one of his missions, "There is no such thing as a hollow earth at the North pole," proved to be famous last words.

23\. **Honour** \- Each and every one of the Alphabet felt honour bound never to let their superior know that they all knew about him and the thief.

24\. **Hope** \- Hope springs eternal - especially when Dorian occasionally notices Klaus staring at his arse.

25\. **Light** \- For all his protests and swearing, sometimes Klaus catches himself thinking that Dorian is everything that is light and bright in his world of shadows.

26\. **Lost** \- Lost in the Amazon, Klaus wasn't the slightest bit surprised when the first voice he had heard in over a week blatantly came on to him.

27\. **Metal** \- _Gold is a softer metal than iron,_ Klaus thought and reverently caressed Dorian's cheek.

28\. **New** \- Dorian had always enjoyed learning a new lover's body - but Klaus would be his last.

29\. **Old** \- Klaus's curt, "No, you don't look old," reassures Dorian the best - he knows Klaus would find it a very stupid thing to lie about.

30\. **Peace** \- Of course Klaus wants peace on Earth and all that crap - but must it mean that his play mates can't come out and play with him any longer?

31\. **Poison** \- In their first kiss, Klaus shares cyanide poison with the only man he could ever have loved.

32\. **Pretty** \- Klaus secretly thinks that Dorian is pretty - but then, he thinks Z is pretty too, and he's not about to do anything about that either.

33\. **Rain** \- Holding his umbrella over them, protecting both himself and Klaus from the rain, Dorian unexpectedly feels like a true gentleman.

34\. **Regret** \- Cutting up the painting to get to the hidden microfilm, Klaus had only one regret - going by Dorian's pained, shocked expression there would be no nookie tonight.

35\. **Roses** \- Not far into their relationship Klaus found that Dorian might smell like a rose and be pretty like a rose - but he also had thorns.

36\. **Secret** \- _Amateurs,_ Herr Hinkel thinks on finding out about his young master and the British gentleman scant days after that the two got together - he and Graf von dem Eberbach still keep their relationship a secret after well over thirty years.

37\. **Snakes** \- It took eight months before Dorian realised that Klaus had a snake phobia - and why the expression "trouser snake" always turned him completely off.

38\. **Snow** \- Dorian always waited most eagerly for the first snow of the year - because it never failed to make Klaus smile, no matter how briefly.

39\. **Solid** \- Bonham always stands ready to catch Dorian when he falls: solid, steady and loyal - and Dorian never once guesses how much Bonham truly loves him.

40\. **Spring** \- Englishmen went crazy in the spring, Klaus concluded as he watched his lover run around a field with flowers in his hair.

41\. **Stable** \- Klaus felt vaguely disappointed that what they had done in the stable hadn't seemed to frighten the horses - though perhaps the beasts were used to them by now.

42\. **Strange** \- Z found the little man called James to be one of the strangest persons he had ever encountered - and one of the cutest.

43\. **Summer** \- One day each summer Klaus calls in sick - sick as in sick of going to work and instead preferring to spend the time with his lover.

44\. **Taboo** \- Finally Dorian has Klaus breaking what is most taboo - and they have sex over Klaus's desk at NATO headquarters.

45\. **Ugly** \- Dorian knew he was far gone when he found Klaus's ugly ties a turn-on.

46\. **War** \- War had always had a thing for dark-haired men, and Klaus von dem Eberbach was a man even she could respect.

47\. **Water** \- Some of James' edicts Dorian does his best to ignore - but he religiously follows "Share showers to preserve water!" - though only when Klaus is home.

48\. **Welcome** \- In bed, Klaus remains quiet and tense, but Dorian feels how touch-starved skin welcomes his caresses.

49\. **Winter** \- When winter comes, Dorian moves south - as if Germany really is all that much warmer than England ...

50\. **Wood** \- Camping in the woods is rather romantic, Dorian thinks - and he parks his luxury trailer right beside Klaus's sleeping bag, so that Klaus can roll in under it if it starts raining - or just get inside already.


	5. Epsilon Set

1\. **Motion** \- Without resistance, a body in motion stays in motion, but no matter what the resistance, a James in pursuit of money stays in pursuit of money.

2\. **Cool** \- Iron might initially be cool to your touch, but if you heat it up, it will be hot enough to burn.

3\. **Young** \- As a young boy, Klaus had known that tradition demanded that he married, and he had decided that he wanted to marry someone blond, and 30 years later, he did - though he did buck tradition anyway, as he married a man.

4\. **Last** \- "For the last time, you stupid, idiotic limey, I meant that I wanted for us to go outside so that we could have a talk, I didn't mean that I wanted to date you!"

5\. **Wrong** \- "If this is wrong, Major,--" Dorian purred just before bending down to put his mouth to better use, "--do you really want to be right?"

6\. **Gentle** \- Klaus isn't all that good with gentle touches yet, but when he does try, Dorian melts completely.

7\. **One** \- If Dorian had to pick just one thing he liked best about Klaus, it was his soul.

8\. **Thousand** \- A thousand years later, Klaus and Dorian's love still prompted rabid slashers to write all kinds of fanfic about them.

9\. **King** \- "I don't care if you're the once and future king of bloody England, Mr Pendragon," Major von dem Eberbach said with a sneer, "this falls under NATO jurisdiction and I expect you to obey my orders."

10\. **Learn** \- One thing Klaus had learned about Dorian was this: if the man picked up a gun, the safest place to be was two continents away, or plastered to his back.

11\. **Blur** \- Klaus had worked so hard and for so long that his bones ached and his vision was too blurry for him to see, but he recognized by touch the loving hands that helped him into bed.

12\. **Wait** \- "I hope I didn't keep you waiting while I changed," Dorian said, to which Klaus replied, "No, no, I always meant to read 'War and Peace' anyway."

13\. **Change** \- Over the years the dynamic of their relationship changed - but it always grew stronger.

14\. **Command** \- In the field, Klaus liked to issue commands - but in the bedroom, he liked to follow orders.

15\. **Hold** \- "Dorian, I promised to have and to hold - I bloody well didn't promise to carry your check-in luggage!"

16\. **Need** \- On very rare occasions Klaus's need gets too strong, too overpowering, too irresistible - and he sneaks down to the kitchen to steal a sugar cube for his Nescafe.

17\. **Vision** \- When Dorian envisioned the future, he had never thought of himself as a possible father, but Klaus had said that he wanted children, and so Dorian seriously considered the possibility.

18\. **Attention** \- Dorian was prepared to go to any length to capture Klaus's attention - but dressing up in traditional German folk clothes didn't work very well.

19\. **Soul** \- After James had started in on Hell's finances, the devil soon regretted ever buying that particular soul, even if it had come cheap.

20\. **Picture** \- When A accidentally spotted the picture of Dorian in Klaus's wallet, Klaus claimed that the photograph was for identification purposes - and A pretended to believe him.

21\. **Fool** \- Klaus thought that Dorian was a fool - but he was _Klaus's_ fool, damn it, and no one else was allowed to arrest him.

22\. **Mad** \- James isn't at all mad - it is everyone else who can't seem to grasp the all-encompassing, soul-devouring importance of the most sacred thing of all - money!

23\. **Child** \- "You want to adopt children?!" Dorian squeaked and started to pull on his clothes again before hastily adding: "My goodness, look at the time, got to go," - and then he was gone.

24\. **Now** \- "Now then," Dorian said sweetly as he stood before the bound NATO major as the bomb timer ticked down, "do you possibly want to rephrase that horrible thing you said about my hair just before we were so rudely captured?"

25\. **Shadow** \- As a special agent, Klaus lives his life in shadows - but that's okay, because so do thieves.

26\. **Goodbye** \- When Klaus had been fired after the Gloria Scandal, he returned one last time to the Alphabet's room, to say goodbye - but he was rather surprised to find them all packed up and ready to go with him.

27\. **Hide** \- Klaus tried to hide his and Dorian's relationship, but on the second morning Herr Hinkel asked if the other gentleman wanted breakfast as well and that was the end of that.

28\. **Fortune** \- James was still intensely jealous of Klaus, but he was beginning to see things from the bright side - the secretly filmed porn vids were going to make him a fortune!

29\. **Safe** \- The safe was actually child's play to open, but Dorian pretended that it was extremely difficult, just to get Klaus to step in close and lean in to have a look - the man hadn't a clue on how to open a safe, but he always did so anyway.

30\. **Ghost** \- "You're the one who's dead," Klaus grumbled in disbelief as the hazy shape of Dorian Red, former Earl of Gloria, now ghost, smiled sweetly at him, not wearing any clothes, "so why am I the one in hell?"

31\. **Book** \- Klaus was a very by-the-book man, when it suited him, and currently it suited him that they would get through the Gay Kama Sutra or die trying.

32\. **Eye** \- Officially, Klaus wore the sunglasses so that the fruity Earl wouldn't comment on his "Mosel bottle green" eyes - unofficially, he wore them so that Dorian wouldn't notice how Klaus sometimes looked longingly at him.

33\. **Never** \- "This can never happen again," Klaus said firmly as they parted, and while Dorian didn't quite agree with him, he nodded anyway - next time he was definitely going to top.

34\. **Sing** \- Klaus was just getting ready for bed when the singing began - "emerald green eyes" and "raven black hair" were mentioned and an awful lot of rhyming going on - but he definitely wasn't going to sleep with that racket, so he, after a moment's hesitation, emptied the earth and flowers from a flower pot and carried it to the bathroom to fill it with water.

35\. **Sudden** \- "Make no sudden moves!" Klaus orders sharply and neither of them does; they both move oh so slowly - Klaus to pull his gun so that he can shoot the huge, poisonous snake that currently threatens them - and Dorian to reach out to gently caress over Klaus's rear.

36\. **Stop** \- When Klaus finally stops running, Dorian is so surprised that he trips and falls at the other man's feet, but that's okay, because Klaus kind of likes him there.

37\. **Time** \- "Time waits for no man  *" - but as she sees the curly-haired blond worship his still somewhat hesitant lover, she smiles and gives them both just a tiny little more of herself - because love should never be rushed.  
* = actually, evidence suggests that she did wait for at least one man **, once.  
** = Wen the Eternally Surprised ***  
*** = Well, she had a son with him, so we assume she at least slowed down to let him catch up at some point ****  
**** = Terry Pratchett ***** book, Thief of Time  
***** = That is why I use footnotes ******  
****** = Footnotes are not separate sentences, so this is still just one sentence

38\. **Wash** \- After Dorian first stayed over at Klaus's Bonn apartment, Klaus made a colossal mistake and now he always brings his dirty laundry back home to the Schloss - better Herr Hinkel deals with the washing, because Klaus is never wearing pink underwear ever again.

39\. **Torn** \- Torn between Duty and the things his heart whispered rather insistently, Klaus told his heart to shut the fuck up, he had to get his mission accomplished - though after that, there would still be time to let Dorian flirt a bit more with him.

40\. **History** \- History books will not list the Earl of Gloria and his NATO Major among the greatest love couples of all times - but only because Klaus is a very private man and Dorian humours him.

41\. **Power** \- An Earl of Gloria scorned was a power to reckon with, as Klaus von dem Eberbach unfortunately was about to find out.

42\. **Bother** \- Yes, James could be a bit of a bother sometimes, but there was absolutely no better man to have at your side when you had dropped your earring in the sofa.

43\. **God** \- "You can keep calling me God if you want to," Dorian purred and continued his quick, powerful thrusts," but I do prefer hearing you moan my actual name, Klaus."

44\. **Wall** \- Building walls will do you no good, when the man who wants to steal your heart can scale any obstacle as easily as breathing.

45\. **Naked** \- "Master Klaus, Herr Wosworn reported seeing a wet, naked man running across the garden - shall I instruct Fräulein Silber to refill the water bucket by your window?"

46\. **Drive** \- The drive way up to the North Down's castle seems longer than ever to Klaus - perhaps it is the trailer with all his belongings that makes the car go slower than usual.

47\. **Harm** \- Klaus reasoned that no harm could come from encouraging the thief just a little, little bit, just to get the thing he needed stolen - but he was wrong.

48\. **Precious** \- Klaus is precious to Dorian, and he will never know how ruthlessly Dorian deals with anyone who tries to hurt what Dorian considers precious.

49\. **Hunger** \- Sometimes Dorian's hunger for Klaus is a physical thing, clawing at his guts and squeezing his lungs tight - but he has learned to live with the delicious discomfort, for even after they've been together for three years, the hunger still shows no sign of being fully sated.

50\. **Believe** \- A god is strengthened by the belief of his followers - and with James' belief, Mammon rises anew to rule the world.

The End


	6. Zeta Set

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Zeta set of sentences is not part of the original challenge. Heather Sparrows was good enough to help me with a new set, as I enjoyed doing th sentences.

1\. **Humour** \- Shooting contests were just about the most boring events that Dorian ever attended - but Klaus was infallibly horny afterwards, so Dorian always humoured him.

2\. **Evil** \- Klaus tolerated the Rogues' Gallery well enough - but there was something about Dorian coming home with horse hair on his trousers after an ELE* meeting that seriously rubbed him the wrong way.  
*=the Evil League of Evil

3\. **Thirst** \- Dorian's thirst for beauty would occasionally overshadow his hunger for love - but while water can keep a man alive for days without food, in the end he will still die of starvation.

4\. **Master** \- Dorian had thought it a bit too easy to get Klaus to agree to a game of Master And Servant - but he grudgingly did the laundry in hope that there might be sex at the end of the day anyway.

5\. **Proof** \- In the ultimate proof of love, James loaned Klaus his lucky coin before sending him off on his mission.

6\. **Elaborate** \- "Nothing elaborate!" had been Klaus's only demand regarding their wedding ceremony - perhaps he should have specified that the same went for all the surrounding activities as well.

7\. **Animal** \- "He's an animal in bed!" Dorian would complain with an artful pout - but he fooled no one into feeling the least bit sorry for him.

8\. **Anorexic** \- Anorexic behaviour from some of his men had led Dorian to make it a policy to claim "I don't fancy thin men" - and this had proven remarkably effective.

9\. **Keepsake** \- Normally Dorian would steal a little keepsake from each of his conquests - with Klaus he decided to just keep the man himself.

10\. **Heart** \- Klaus's heart was guarded with mine fields, a moat, fences, patrol dogs, bazookas and a Magnum - once you got inside, there was no chance in Hell of getting out again.

11\. **Barbaric** \- Klaus snorted at barbaric British customs - though he was rather fond of the Shag The Conquering Hero Stupid one.

12\. **Actor** \- Actors applying for roles in "Iron Klaus - The Movie" soon realised that the "Casting Couch" situation was a bit different from regular movies - it required team work, for one, and there seemed to be an unusual number of giggling female directors.

13\. **Progress** \- "Herr Gloria - we realise that NATO asked you for a progress report, but 'Held Klaus's hand today while he was unconscious' wasn't exactly what we had in mind."

14\. **Result** \- While Dorian saw little point in military training per se, he couldn't help but approve of the end result - once he got his lover in the right mindset Klaus obeyed orders very, very well ...

15\. **Help** \- "Shouldn't we help the major?" the new Agent L asked when Eroica chased their superior through the hotel lobby, but the more experienced alphabets just laughed at him.

16\. **Nightmare** \- What a nightmare!" Bonham gasped as he woke up shivering, covered in cold sweat and with his heart racing: "The Earl getting married - to a woman!"

17\. **Autumn** \- Autumn was James's favourite season, when even the trees wore gold.

18\. **Revise** \- After having known Dorian for five years, Klaus had revised his opinion on practically everything he had once assumed about the man - except for the gay thing and that he was still convinced that Dorian was utterly color blind.

19\. **Rainbow** \- Considering the matter logically it wasn't all that strange when James dug up gold at the end of the rainbow - after all, he had dug at thousands of rainbows before and sooner or later he had to find something.

20\. **Sedate** \- Klaus was shocked at how sedate Dorian's outfit for the day was - until he saw it from behind.

21\. **Brown** \- "Major von dem Eberbach, I just called to inform you that last night I successfully used a small brush made from the hair of a brown boar to masturbate."

22\. **Legendary** \- Agent A was legendary among the Alphabet - not only had he survived the major's supervision the longest - he was also the one who won the The Major Getting Shagged By Earl Gloria office betting pool.

23\. **Flower** \- Klaus wasn't really a flowers kind of guy, but Dorian rather thought that the Eroica roses suddenly growing under Klaus's bedroom window were a rather positive sign.

24\. **Forest** \- Klaus had refused to believe that their latest meeting had been purely coincidental, which Dorian could understand, given that the meeting had taken place in a remote, uncharted area of the Amazon rain forest, several days' walks from civilisation and that neither of them had a logical reason for being there, but the kicker was - it really had been coincidental.

25\. **Camping** \- "When I agreed to go camping with you, Klaus, I didn't mean a week-long survival boot camp!"

26\. **Sea** \- Klaus had been completely at sea about why Dorian's interest in him had suddenly waned, until a kind soul left a brochure regarding the Hanky Code on his desk and he promptly threw away his latest birthday present from Aunt Gabi.

27\. **Sand** \- When James's presence finally became too difficult to ignore, Dorian offered the man a tenner to count all the grains in a bucket of sand - that always gave him a couple of hours of peace.

28\. **Bicycle** \- Klaus didn't overly mind Queen's Bicycle-song, but Dorian's suggestive hip movements and rather obvious double entendres had him blushing.

29\. **Fog** \- When he was pinched Klaus thought he knew for sure who the culprit was, but as the heavy fog slowly lifted it revealed a surprising number of possible suspects.

30\. **Shower** \- Exhausted to the point of collapse, it wasn't until the shower water hit him that Klaus remembered that he had forgotten to check the bathroom for spy cams.

31\. **Bath** \- Dorian preferred hour long, lazy, luxurious baths – but not just before sex, as he sometimes got a little "too relaxed" from them …

32\. **Sleep** \- Klaus was a light sleeper and that was why he held Dorian firmly during the nights so that the other's tossing wouldn't keep him awake – he most certainly wasn't a snuggler!

33\. **Slim** \- Herr Hinkel judged Earl Gloria's chances of seducing his young master as somewhere between slim and none – so he called England to make a few suggestions.

34\. **Awful** \- "But Milord," said Bonham, puzzled by the request,"you think Nescafe tastes awful: why would you want us to buy stock in the company?"

35\. **Nasty** \- Klaus spoke English fluently, but not perfectly – and it took Dorian a good while to realise that Klaus mixed up Nasty with Naughty and then he had to rethink quite a lot of Klaus's statements.

36\. **Enjoy** \- "Of course I want you to enjoy it too, darling, but if you really can't, how about lying back, closing your eyes and thinking about NATO?"

37\. **Ride** \- Klaus wasn't sure what Dorian meant by "topping from the bottom" – if he rode Dorian then he wasn't on the bottom, was he?

38\. **Dig** \- "No, it isn't at all cruel to get James to dig up the garden by telling him I hid coins in there, Milord; I let him keep the coins, don't I?"

39\. **Harvest** \- His North Downs estate didn't grow alfalfa, but come harvest season Dorian brought some in special for a bit of fun in the hay.

40\. **Plant** \- "Well, yes, Milord, this Plant fellow does seem to have stolen some of your style, but don't worry, you're much prettier than he!"

41\. **Delicious** \- "Delicious!" was Dorian's final verdict, but Klaus was blushing too hard to comment.

42\. **Healthy** \- "It can't be healthy to have sex this often," Klaus grumbled and spread his legs wider, to which Dorian shrugged and replied: "Well, you always did use to call me sick."

43\. **Filthy** \- Klaus was filthy, there was no other word for it, half covered in blood, mud and things best not considered, but he was still the most gorgeous thing Dorian had ever seen – because he was alive!

44\. **Glorious** \- "No, I'll gasp and ask you to fuck me harder and faster, that's fine, but I categorically refuse to shout 'Glorious! Glorious! Glorious!', you sick pervert."

45\. **Slow** \- On the whole, Klaus preferred long, slow fucks, but all investigations has to be thorough, so sometimes he would ask Dorian to fuck him hard and fast, just to make sure.

46\. **Amazing** \- Amazingly enough, and against all predictions, they then proceeded to live happily ever after.

47\. **Rare** \- To Dorian the sight of Klaus's rare, open, genuine smile was almost a religious experience.

48\. **Powerful** \- "Yes, my fellow minion, the reason that our Superior, all-Powerful Overlord decided to turn from a life of crime to a life of conquering and usurping was for the simple reason that our beloved Emperor Consort, Klaus the Firm, proved immensely attracted to power."

49\. **Horror** \- To James's utter horror - and, to a slightly smaller degree, Klaus's as well - Dorian opted for a very luxurious and very, very, very expensive wedding ceremony, not to mention the no expenses-spared-honeymoon.

50\. **Frame** \- "I was framed!" Dorian shouted as they led him away and Klaus, who knew without a doubt that Dorian would never disown one of his heists, immediately opened a counter-investigation.


	7. Eta Set

1\. **Beast** – "I know I accuse you of being a beast sometimes, Klaus, especially when you handle art, but being a were-entelodon – well, now, that's simply showing off."

2\. **Unworthy** – For a fleeting second doubt filled his mind --"Am I really worthy?"-- but then he laughed gaily at his own folly --"Of course I am!"-- and lifted down the Mona Lisa.

3\. **Ship** \- "Oh," Dorian said with utter disappointment, "you wanted me to steal a ship for you; I could have sworn I heard you say something about wanting a relationship."

4\. **Evening** – Klaus used to dislike evenings, when all important things of the day were dealt with and he was forced to wait until morning before he could get anything more done - but since he got together with Dorian he decided that evenings weren't totally pointless after all.

5\. **Public** – Klaus forbade any form of on-mission PDAs - but his husband usually just ignored him and made them anyway.

6\. **Embrace** – Ever since Dorian had blathered on about “falling into Morpheus' embrace” as a euphemism for falling asleep, Klaus had suffered from bouts of insomnia.

7\. **Sorcery** – "By the beard of Zeus," Klaus growled, "I don't feel like myself, someone must have ensorcelled me!"

8\. **Mermaid** – Oh, how James wanted to find a mermaid - a real mermaid, with a tail and scales and breasts and a pretty smile - it would bring millions on eBay!

9\. **Perspire** – Klaus's oil-slick skin; the saturated light reflecting in beads of perspiration on his chest and shoulders; the relaxed look on his face and the faint smile on his lips - oh yes, Dorian was definitely having a sauna installed in the Castle Gloria spa.

10\. **Look** – "Look - a UFO," Dorian cried out, pointing up with his right hand while reaching into Klaus's jacket pocket with his left.

11\. **Drunk** – Having a drunk Major von dem Eberbach crawl into his bed made Dorian thrilled beyond words and very hopeful for the future – but the sixth time that the very same thing happened his feelings bordered more on frustration.

12\. **Blood** – Klaus was used to Dorian looking at him hungrily - but not that the hunger was due to blood lust.

13\. **Tree** – "You put up surveillance cameras in the Christmas tree to catch me, ah, checking the wrapping on some packages - Klaus, really, you can't prove anything, it was a trap, you framed me!"

14\. **Bite** – "I used to dream of sucking you, Klaus, but ... I never considered the possibility of being forced to do so because of a poisonous snake bite."

15\. **Gamble** – Most of Klaus's life was a high-odds gamble with his life at stake, but lately he'd come to consider the British Earl a safe bet.

16\. **Blind** – Normally Dorian just turned a blind eye to Klaus's fascination with guns, but cleaning his Magnum in bed - naked?

17\. **Chemistry** – Klaus woke smiling faintly after a truly nice dream involving him, Dorian, chemistry class, an experiment gone wrong and all that curly hair turning bright green - brilliant!

18 **Later** – Klaus might be a late bloomer, but luckily Dorian is just the right man to handle all that pent-up lust.

19\. **Curse** – It's when their superior stops cursing and gets that flat, cold look in his eyes that the Alphabets knows it's time to run for their lives.

20\. **Office** – "But if I redecorate a room in the castle to be an exact copy of your office," Dorian said with some exasperation, "will you at least have sex with me there, then, Klaus?"

21\. **Clash** – Greater love hath no dandy than one who no longer sees how the ties of the man he loves clash with, well, pretty much everything, really.

22\. **Drown** – "No, no, no, milord, don’t give in to their demands, I've always wanted to die for you, and to drown in liquid gold is the most wonderful death I could ever think of, oh, please don’t do what they want!"

23\. **Window** – To his enemies Klaus's eyes weren’t as much windows to his soul as windows to the valley of death.

24\. **Nine** – "Actually, Klaus, when you said that 'it' is about nine inches long, I thought you meant ... well, not your Magnum."

25\. **Damage** – “They are attempting to blackmail me; threatening to damage my reputation by outing me as a homosexual,” Klaus grated into Dorian’s ear a second before kissing him for the first time.

26\. **Garden** – Considering the many, many missions Eroica had messed up for him, it was with considerable satisfaction that Klaus ordered the Alphabets to crash the North Downs garden party.

27\. **Custom** – It took three plane trips with tearful farewells and hugs from Dorian on one side of customs and a white-faced Bonham on the other side stumbling into him, before Klaus realised that they were using him as a diamond smuggling mule.

28\. **Cocktail** – "Don't be gauche, dear Bonham," Dorian whispered into his earpiece as he slipped a mickey into the cocktail glass he intended to offer the major later, "I just want to know if he’s a, um ... natural brunet?"

29\. **Soft** – On rare occasions - and only ever when he is all alone - Klaus will slowly run a hand through his hair – it’s the only thing about him that is soft.

30\. **Echo** – The --“Dorian, I love you.”-- words --“Dorian, I love you.”-- echoed --“Dorian, I love you.”-- across --“Dorian, I love you.”-- the --“Dorian, I love you.”-- world.

31\. **Exile** – Major von dem Eberbach once more considered the likely fate awaiting him – lifetime exile to Great Britain – and took a steadying breath before he looked his father straight in the eyes and told him the truth.

32\. **Hand** – During the day Dorian would hear Klaus say some rather hurtful things, but he ignored them all, knowing that when the night came, Klaus’s hands would ask his forgiveness.

33\. **Blade** – A red-hot iron blade can cut through gold, but when the gold hardens again, the iron is stuck.

34\. **Language** – Between them they speak at least eight languages, yet both of them occasionally have great difficulty understanding the other.

35\. **Monday** – Just because Rome wasn’t built in a day, Klaus sees no reason why they can’t get all the week’s paperwork done on Monday, thus freeing them up to get more important things done during the rest of the week.

36\. **Phenomenon** – Klaus dreams of Dorian sometimes - and sometimes this strange, inexplicable phenomenon occurs even when he's awake.

37\. **Mess** – After being saved from the Swedish wilderness by the coast artillery, and being forced to eat mess food on his way back to civilisation, Dorian took to regularly sending care packages of decent food to his brave rescuers.

38\. **Watch** – Watching Dorian handle the powerful crossbow, Klaus felt decidedly horny.

39\. **Cushion** – The morning after Klaus felt a reluctant appreciation for the ridiculously soft, cushioned seats of the sofas in the Castle Gloria morning room (though, of course, he’d rather slit his throat than say so out loud).

40\. **Haven** – Le Fromage Bleu is a haven for weary Alphabets: the French restaurant is nearly hidden between a huge candy shop and a gay bar and they feel fairly sure that Major von dem Eberbach will never find them there.

41\. **Brand** – “Eroica beauty products for men – the only brand if you want to catch your man!"

42\. **Temple** – Dorian’s body is a temple – and he expects worship.

43\. **Suit** – “Klaus Heinz, I just received an odd phone call from a rather strange individual, a Brit I believe, claiming to be your suitor and asking for my blessing and your hand in marriage, is there something you wish to tell your father?”

44\. **Resolution** – On learning that Klaus had made a resolution to remain chaste until he had been promoted, Dorian at first nearly cried - then he started to plot.

45\. **Peach** – "Compare any part of my anatomy with a peach again and I will shoot you for real this time, husband or not."

46\. **Crash** – Dorian woke to the crash of china and then his lover's voice floated in from the darkness: "I broke that vase of yours, the blue and white one you call your 'Ming thing'; I hope it wasn't very valuable."

47\. **Temper** – "For fuck's sake, the temperature's over 15 degrees, we don't have to huddle together naked for body heat, you lunatic pervert!"

48\. **Spare** – For James’s birthday he went to his favourite spot in town and begged people for spare change - and the rest of the gang took to accosting pedestrians in the surrounding streets, handing them coins.

49\. **Survival** – "I beg to differ, Klaus; what do you mean that conditioner for my hair is not essential for an emergency survival pack?"

50\. **Invisible** \- After hearing of Eroica's recent visit to Griffin, a.k.a. the Invisible Man, Klaus took to wearing bathing trunks in the shower.


	8. Theta Set

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Theta Set is not part of the original challenge. For Avoidetec, who was kind enough to help me make another set.

1\. **Annihilation** – "But you've already annihilated six solar systems, milord, you can't stop conquering the world now just because one of these homo sapiens has pretty green eyes!"

2\. **Bribe** – The bell boy had been warned very firmly against accepting a bribe to let the Earl of Gloria into Major von dem Eberbach's hotel room - so he was a bit surprised when the major instructed him to accept the bribe anyway, just this once.

3\. **Conspiracy** – "Of course we must step up our effort to convince the patient in room 406 - that would be Mr von dem Eberbach - that the entire world really isn’t involved in a global conspiracy to get him together with that gorgeous Earl of Gloria who visits him every week – but the two of them would make such a lovely couple, wouldn’t they?"

4\. **Denial** \- A father might remain in denial of his son's homosexuality, but the butler always knows.

5\. **Espionage** – "Espionage" is the masculine form of the word "gossip" - and how the various abbreviation agencies spied about the NATO major and his British pursuer!

6\. **Fathomless** – Faced with the fathomless depths of an incomprehensible enemy - the New York fashion industry - Klaus finally bit the bullet, held out his arms and allowed Dorian to dress him.

7\. **Gunpoint** – Klaus wouldn't admit to loving Dorian if held at gunpoint - he'd whisper the words before they fell asleep and Dorian would just have to make do with that.

8\. **Hangover** – The first time Dorian woke up in Klaus's bed was supposed to have been the happiest morning in his life: sadly he had a hangover and couldn't remember a thing about last night.

9\. **Indecency** – "How _dare_ he say something so horrible about my best shirt?" Dorian growled and tore open the door to his wardrobe: "I’ll show him indecent!"

10\. **Jury** – It's everyone's right to be judged by a jury of his peers - and Dorian is 100 % certain that no peer of his would prove anything less than understanding about how irresistible Klaus's butt is - how it just begs for you to reach out and pet it!

11\. **Kneel** \- "Kneel to Zod," General Zod ordered Klaus a second before a knife of glowing green ended his life and the last he heard was an enraged Earl of Gloria shouting: "He kneels to no one but me!"

12\. **Listening device** \- "You put a listening device in my bedroom and listened in while I masturbated, you thieving, fucking pervert," Klaus yelled into the phone, utterly neglecting to mention that he'd actually noticed the Earl's device before he, so to speak, started to take the matter into hand.

13\. **Misuse** \- "This is a blatant misuse of authority," Dorian accused the major as he was pushed up against the jail bars, "but, oh, yes, fuck me harder!"

14\. **Nocturnal** – Klaus had thought that he could turn a blind eye to Dorian’s nocturnal activities, but when Dorian stole the recently discovered Nibelungen treasure Klaus realised that a line had been crossed and he subsequently moved back home to Eberbach.

15\. **Obscene** – "Strangely enough, Klaus, most men would label my ability to lick their balls while I deep throat them as 'sublime', rather than 'obscene'."

16\. **Pride** \- Dorian read the article about Klaus in Heavy Artillery Monthly, proud as a peacock over his lover's accomplishments, until he reached the end of the article and realised the fundamental lack of mentioning one of the most important parts of his lover's life: "They forgot about me!"

17\. **Quicksand** \- To fall in love with the Earl of Gloria feels like sinking into quicksand - once it reaches your crotch you're stuck for good.

18\. **Riddle** \- "Tom Marvolo Riddle, I arrest you in the name of NATO on suspicion of terrorism, murder and intent to overthrow the British government - not that I blame you."

19\. **Sacrifice** – "You know Major, I'm _almost_ sure I heard one of our capturers mention something about a virgin sacrifice, perhaps I better help you out with that?"

20\. **Trust Issues** – Klaus might have trust issues, sure - but Dorian has major issues.*  
* = okay, so I stole this one.

21\. **Unsettling** \- Any sane man would find Iron Klaus's full attention somewhat unsettling, but luckily a hint of insanity has always run in the Red family tree.

22\. **Vermilion** – Klaus had never backed down from a mission in his life, but it slowly dawned on him that perhaps it was time to admit defeat – if one of Dorian’s thirty or so scarves could be classified as ‘vermilion’, rather than any other shade of red, Klaus wasn’t man enough to find it.

23\. **Weightlessness** \- Klaus truly hated the thought of kneeling to any man, but giving Dorian a blowjob in a weightless state during their visit to an ESA research centre was an entirely different matter.

24\. **Blame** – When Klaus's father blamed him for "turning his son homosexual", Dorian just smiled and happily took all credit - well, he certainly wouldn't have wanted anyone else involved in turning Klaus gay.

25\. **Cold War** \- "The cold war is over, we're married and I love you deeply?" Klaus asked scornfully, "I have amnesia, you fucker, I'm not stupid!"

26\. **Desperation** \- In pure desperation Klaus finally admitted to the Earl that, all right, he might be a little homosexual, but then he lied and claimed that he exclusively preferred bald men - and to his surprise the Earl never bothered him again.

27\. **Elegance** \- On realising that he'd just referred to a tank as "elegant", Dorian moaned: "We've been married for too long, Klaus!"

28\. **Fantastic** \- Dorian often wondered what Klaus fantasised about when he masturbated - he wouldn't have been very surprised, though probably a bit disappointed to learn that it was mostly about guns.

29\. **God-like** \- When asked if the major's body really was as god-like as his shape hinted at Dorian replied that a gentleman never kisses and tells - but he said so with a contented smile and a wink.

30\. **Hurry** – Dorian had been in a hurry to get Klaus into bed, but once he got him there he wanted nothing more than for the night to last forever.

31\. **Erroneous** \- For a professional spy master an erroneous assumption can quickly turn fatal - Dorian's fickleness was the only thing Klaus had ever been truly glad to be wrong about.

32\. **Shiver** \- Shivering with the need for sexual release, Klaus finally swallowed his pride and asked Dorian to just fuck him harder, already.

33\. **Knives** – After last night, Klaus strongly suspected that he would never look at a knife in the same way again.

34\. **Lock Picking** \- Picking a lock never presented Dorian with the least bit difficulty - the problem was how to actually get his hands on Klaus's chastity belt.

35\. **Madness** – There's a fine line between a madman and a genius - and when it comes to money, James is both.

36\. **Quench** – Even if heat and cold is a matter of discipline, sometimes even Iron Klaus has to quench his red-hot desires in ice-cold water.

37\. **Right** \- Klaus always did what was right, and if it was wrong of him to love Dorian, well, then he'd just have to change the world to make it right.

38\. **Sublime** – //My touch is ‘sublime’?// Klaus asked himself with equal amounts of bafflement and pride, //how the fuck did I manage that?//

39\. **Thermonuclear** \- "Needing Eroica's help in disarming a thermonuclear device - Klaus, oh, please, can't you just man up and ask me on a date already?"

40\. **Unspeakable** \- "If what you want me to do to you is so unspeakable, Klaus, how about if you just show me?"

41\. **Vicious** – "No," Dorian said, shaking his head proudly, "his bite really is as vicious as his bark."

42\. **Asphyxiation** – "You say that you want to strangle me, major, no, no, no, I've tried autoerotic asphyxiation and really, sexual gratification due to lack of oxygen isn't really what it is cracked up to be, so all in all I'd rather that you didn't."

43\. **Bold** – Only men with something to lose can act boldly - Klaus never countered himself among them until he met Dorian.

44\. **Cunning** \- In a suspicious tone of voice Klaus asked the Earl of Gloria: "Why does this so called cunning plan of yours involve me taking all my clothes off?"

45\. **Emerald** \- James loves emerald green, but he loves dollar green too - and why should he be made to choose, when Klaus's eyes can shift between both hues?

46\. **Reasons** – There is no reason for Klaus's love for Dorian, but then, many have accused him of being unreasonable.

47\. **Sly** – Dorian's favourite kisses are stolen on the sly, but when the bishop told him to do so, he kissed his husband with gusto, before God and everyone.

48\. **Thieving** \- The major had several times accused Dorian of getting off on thieving - but as of yet Dorian hadn't had the heart to tell the prudish, uptight man that, actually, literally, yes, he did.

49\. **Urge** \- An atheist himself, Klaus was taken by surprise by a mindless urge to worship the god-like body before him.

50\. **Tempting** \- Klaus prided himself on his strength in withstanding temptation ... but to be left alone in charge of the Holland  & Holland London Gun room really made his fingers itch.


	9. Iota Set

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Telwoman

1\. **Intimate** – Earl Gloria had pushed for them to become more intimate lately, but how could they, when just using the man’s first name sent a shiver down Klaus’s spine?

2\. **Threnody** – Dorian stood stoic, eyes forward and cheeks resolutely not blushing, ignoring the undulating threnody in his ear as James bemoaned each coin lost to the cash machine.

3\. **Haphazard** – Dorian’s haphazard flirtation with all and sundry is an affront to Klaus’s highly developed sense of order, but when he yells at Dorian to stop this outrageous mating behaviour, Dorian just smiles and calls him jealous.

4\. **Incremental** – “Of course we will deepen our relationship slowly, my love,” Dorian said with an understanding smile and kissed Klaus gently, all the while thinking, //I’m not stupid - of course I’ll give it to you in careful increments with plenty of time to adjust in between.//

5\. **Navigation** – Normally Dorian believes Klaus fully capable of absolutely anything he sets his mind to – but each summer when they travel Europe by car he’s reminded of the one thing Klaus constantly fails spectacularly at – navigation.

6\. **Kindle** – A fire burning on iron will take forever to kindle – but if it catches fire, oh how it burns!

7\. **Dauntless** – Sometimes Klaus wonders what it is about himself that makes shooting a man in the head so much less daunting than telling Dorian those three little words he knows perfectly well that the man oh so dearly wants to hear.

8\. **Orient** – Dorian loves to sit in his window at night and star-gaze, but he doesn’t need the stars to orient himself back to bed – Klaus’s slow, even breaths are all the guidance he needs.

9\. **Rapscallion** – “Really, major, ‘rapscallion’?” Dorian said and shook his head – Klaus must have been going through his thesaurus again to find fresh slurs.

10\. **Inheritance** – The most valuable heirloom Dorian inherited from his father had been in the Red family for generations, increasing their prosperity and guarding their wealth – they call it ‘James’.

11\. **Asinine** – "No, for the last time, Klaus, I didn’t comment about your arse, I was calling you an ass, as in asinine, stubborn as a donkey; I’d never say a disparaging word about your lovely arse!"

12\. **Nucleus** – Lord Gloria was not only the head of his own gang of criminals and the lover of one of NATO’s most feared spy masters, he was also the nucleus of the Rogues’ Gallery – and the combined forces that came to rescue him were a bit more than what the kidnappers had counted on.

13\. **Harpoon** – It took Klaus years to realise that while, yes, Dorian was utterly worthless with any type of rifle or hand gun, give him a crossbow, a knife, a throwing star, a bloody harpoon – and he was every bit as good a marksman as Klaus himself.

14 **Appetite** – The Red appetite for riches and men is legendary, but when Dorian woke up after his and Klaus’s first night together he felt oddly sated.

15\. **Synthetic** – German is a synthetic language and how can you not love a language that can form words like Kunstschützenkönigsalptraum?

16\. **Hayfield** – The North Downs are rich in natural resources and each autumn Dorian cords off a hayfield near his castle for a giant August feast – and while everyone else is busy (or at least allows him to think so), he drags Klaus off for some really hot, really hedonistic sex in a haystack.

17\. **Otter** – “’The otter always swims in only one direction’,” Klaus read through clenched teeth; “Whoever the fuck came up with that bloody stupid identification phrase can consider themselves on otter-watch – in Alaska!”

18\. **Threadbare** – James's threadbare state is a lure to make people give him more money, effectively hiding the fact that he is already the richest man in the world.

19\. **Finality** – Klaus never does anything half-heartedly, and when he told Dorian “Yes”, Dorian knew with absolute finality that his wandering days were over.

20\. **Apprehensive** – Klaus felt a little apprehensive about the whole "sex with a man"-thing – seeing Dorian’s impressive proportions nude for the first time didn’t help matters.

21\. **Nom de plume** – To find out that G writes gay Harlequin novels under the Nom de plume of Günther Guerst doesn’t surprise Klaus in the least – but to find out that some of G's “heroes” are based on people G knows worries him considerably.

22\. **Tolerant** – Klaus's considers himself a very tolerant man – it’s just that the rest of the world is so bloody perverted!

23\. **Asperity** – Dorian is fully aware that Klaus embodies a type of asperity with his harshness of temper, resistance to change and a certain rough edge – but he doesn’t find him the least bit difficult to endure and he wouldn’t want him any other way.

24\. **Sensation** – After having craved sensation for so many years as a child, as an adult Klaus tended to shy away from even the mildest stimuli since he experienced it so keenly it bordered on pain.

25\. **Inconsistency** – Some Alphabets are the bricks, others are the mortar, some are even the holes in the wall through which a pistol can be aimed – it’s their very inconsistency that makes for a strong team.

26\. **Effervescence** – Dorian is the type of person who can incite a collective effervescence by standing quietly in a corner.

27\. **Successor** – As the master of his craft, Dorian should train a worthy successor – but as the true Prince of Thieves he prefers to steal the Water of Eternal Youth.

28\. **Absentee** – A spy-master is never so absent that he doesn’t know everything his beloved does by way of bugs and cams.

29\. **Burden** – Dorian would desperately like to ease the burden weighting Klaus’s shoulders – and little by little; bribe by bribe; threat by threat; theft by theft; blackmail by blackmail, he does.

30\. **Outrigger** – You are hereby cordially invited to the von dem Eberbach-Red partnership ceremony, to take place on the 14th of February, at the Outrigger Hotel, Waikiki, Hawaii.

31\. **Unkempt** – Klaus decided that Earl Gloria's unkempt state must be the first sign of the Apocalypse.

32\. **Torpor** – Dorian was not too proud to take advantage of the state of non-aggressive torpor Klaus entered when presented with ridiculous amounts of high-calibre weapons.

33\. **Catatonic** – “No, no, don’t mind James, he often goes a bit catatonic when we force him to pay for something.”

34\. **Affected** – To intimidate a suspect during interrogation, Klaus affected an insane smile – the rest of the time, he affected sanity.

35\. **Petulance** – Dorian steeled his heart and mercilessly dragged Klaus away from the display booth, ignoring the hint of petulance in his lover’s voice when Klaus grumbled: “But I wanted to try all the other weapons too, Liebling!”

36\. **Tousled** – The normally so prim and proper major, flushed and tousled after their energetic lovemaking, is among the most earth-shatteringly beautiful things Dorian has ever seen.

37\. **Analysis** – Careful analysis shows that 9 out of 10 slashers prefer Klaus in whatever position Dorian prefers him in – most of the others prefer him on his knees.

38\. **Inclement** – Lately, Dorian discerns a thaw in Klaus’s inclement disposition.

39\. **Northerner** – On his back in the soft snow with the Aurora Borealis painting a green shimmer across the northern sky and Dorian looking down at him with concern, Klaus unexpectedly felt completely at ease.

40\. **Jaded** – A man less jaded than Klaus to mankind’s tendency to treason might not have expected Dorian to betray him –nor would such a man have felt such a childlike wonder when Dorian never did.

41\. **Acrobatic** – Dorian had only to insinuate to that two gentlemen over 60 perhaps should leave acrobatic sex to the younger generation for Klaus to take this as a challenge.

42\. **Celestial** – Dorian would paint Klaus with his Magnum like the Archangel Michael with his sword: an ever-vigilant celestial warrior of terrible wrath – and, sadly, just as chaste.

43\. **Kremlin** – In January of 1991 Klaus puts in for an unprecedented week of vacation in order to travel to Russia, loiter outside the Kremlin- and gloat.

44\. **Status** – In some circles to have a law enforcement lover is a status symbol of sorts – and Dorian is highly envied.

45\. **Perplexed** – Perplexed, Klaus looked at Earl Gloria, who was laughing so hard tears were running down his face, and finally he gave up and grumbled: “I just said the soup tastes like swallowing snowballs; I don’t get what’s so bloody funny!”

46\. **Amateur** – The young man who broke into Castle Gloria, thinking the wealthy estate easy picking, was met by surprising understanding and a job offer, even if some of his captors tsked at him and called him an amateur.

47\. **Responsible** – "Major von dem Eberbach, NATO will not be held responsible for starting a war with England just because one of her peers called your boss and requested your hand in marriage!"

48\. **Reverent** – Despite that they have been together for many years now, some of Klaus’s touches are still reverent – and so are some of Dorian’s.

49\. **Overlook** – In his feminine clothes and makeup G was the most underestimated of Klaus’s agents; the gun in his shoulder holster of course always seen, but the many strings of garrotte woven into his skirt so easily overlooked.

50\. **Wanton** – Dorian loved to put that longing, wanton look in Klaus’s eyes – too bad he had to buy so many high-calibre weapons to put it there.


	10. Kappa Set

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For General Zargon.

1\. **Printer** \- “James, I see we received a bill from the printer’s office regarding an advertisement for ‘the Gloria Special Calendar’; have you been taking pictures of me while I sleep again?”

2\. **Storm** \- Dorian had always wanted to be taken by storm, but he had to admit that Klaus was more like running head-long into an arctic gale.

3\. **Heresy** \- “Major, I insist that you instantly take back that horrible thing you said about my hair; that’s - that’s heresy, that’s what that is, I’m naturally curly this way!”

4\. **Hearsay** \- While Klaus vehemently declared B’s claim that V had said he’d seen the Major and Dorian kissing to be hearsay, he never denied the actual truth of V’s words.

5\. **Treasure** \- Dorian had no idea why everyone seemed so surprised when he agreed to let the French have the treasure, choosing instead to spend time with Major von dem Eberbach – surely everyone knew that he could break into the Louvre any time he wanted?

6\. **Forgery** \- Klaus is well aware that the painting he gives to Dorian for their 5-year-anniversary is a forgery, but he banks on Dorian not having the heart to tell him so.

7\. **Banshee** \- Instead of screaming for the pending loss of life like a normal banshee, James screams for the pending loss of money.

8\. **Truth** \- Absolute truths rarely are absolute in the grey world of spies and war, but Klaus never doubts Dorian’s love for him.

9\. **Isolation** \- Four months in strict isolation was the only reason why Klaus gave Eroica’s shoulder a firm squeeze when the Brit came to rescue him - the kiss he had no excuse for.

10\. **Spirit** \- “I really don’t think shooting me with an arrow is getting into the spirit of Valentine’s Day, dear,” Dorian shouted over his shoulder while running as fast as he could.

11\. **Check** \- Klaus keeps his face and body in perfect check – but he can’t control his undisciplined heart, which takes an extra, quick beat when he sees Dorian nude for the first time.

12\. **Tempest** \- Klaus’ mood is a tempest – but Dorian thrives on chaos and laughs into the wind.

13\. **Lake** \- “Apparently James got the tickets to America cheap, darling, as long as we visited some woman named Ricki, I think she lives by a lake, and he promised we could go to an opera too, I think it was called Winfrey; I’ve never even heard of it, so I agreed.”  
_\- as one of my betas worry that this is obscure, Ricki Lake and Oprah Winfrey_

14\. **Dictionary** \- Dorian had long since decided that a “you idiotic faggot” from Klaus translated to “I love you” on Dorian’s side of the dictionary - he could only hope that the “I love you” he said in return didn’t translate to “you terrible bore” when Klaus heard it.

15\. **Silver** \- Once Dorian had thought he’d kill himself the day he found a hint of silver in his hair, but on finding a strand of grey in Klaus’s previously jet black mane utterly charming he stopped worrying (and bought some hair coloring products).

16\. **Sparkle** \- For a vampire to sparkle like diamonds is simply a bad survival trait – but for elves to do so is perfectly natural, so Klaus was a little relieved that he wouldn’t have to kill Dorian after all.

17\. **Summit** \- The August Summit of 1985 is quite likely the only meeting in recorded history of NATO agents and various criminal elements coming together for the single purpose of bouncing ideas on how to get a NATO major properly wedded and bedded to a British Earl.

18\. **Spelunking** \- “No, darling, I actually think the word ‘spelunking’ doesn’t mean what you think it means and there’s no reason to draw that handsome gun of yours, I was really only suggesting how we get into the castle.”

19\. **Leap** \- It’s the 29th of February and Dorian’s in Bonn to propose to Klaus on Leap Day (of course, he does so on many of the other 365 days of the year as well).

20\. **Tea** \- Dorian reluctantly admitted that stronger measures than a mere cup of tea would be necessary to solve the problem of the Major’s odd reluctance, sighed deeply and turned to Bonham with a flourish to give him the order: “Bonnie, dear, I need you to steal me a tea salon.”

21\. **Skirt** \- Klaus disapproves greatly of G’s skirts – but when the drunk Finn made fun of the little transvestite, Klaus’s retaliation was immediate – and with his fists.

22\. **Bagpipes** \- Klaus actually likes the sound of bagpipes, especially the wailing cries the owner makes when he cuts up the instruments, searching for the hidden micro film within.

23\. **Locked** \- “Of course I’m aware that the door was ‘locked’, dear, but really, if you didn’t want me to come in you really should have told me so.”

24\. **Farewell** \- Bonham’s aware that the British have a bad rep for their long goodbyes – but to listen to James take farewell of a two-pound-coin is frankly ridiculous.

25\. **Humor** \- Klaus has a great sense of humor, but like the man himself, it is strictly controlled and disciplined – if prone to fits of the more explosive nature.

26\. **Casualty** \- Like all wars, the Anglo-German one had its casualties – Major von dem Eberbach’s underwear was but one of them.

27\. **Stain** \- Dorian never sees himself as a stain on Klaus’s reputation; he’s clearly a classy decoration of the finest, most artistic kind.

28\. **Magic** \- For Klaus, love doesn’t exist any more than magic does – but after meeting Auror Potter he reevaluates a lot of things, including his feelings for the British fop.

29\. **Unicorn** \- The unicorns don’t approach Klaus any longer, not after he had a very stern talk to them about the inappropriateness of their interest in his sexual experience in correlation with him threatening to shoot their horns off if they ever got near him again.

30\. **Kilt** \- Klaus might have said he’d rather die than wear a skirt (or even a kilt), but in the end he decided that he’d rather live than be seen dead in one, so he made his escape wearing it and lived to make sure nobody ever knew about it.

31\. **Dinner** \- “I did say that dinner would be on me,” Dorian purred from the honestly rather uncomfortable position across the dining hall table.

32\. **Olympics** \- If greed had been an Olympic sport, James would have taken not only gold, but silver and bronze as well.

33\. **Obstacle** \- Dorian ruthlessly removes all obstacles that block his way to win the fair Major’s heart; preferably in a way that lets James sell them on eBay.

34\. **Grease** \- When Gian-Maria offers to grease Major von dem Eberbach for him, Dorian was at first a bit confused and declined as he certainly needed no help with lubrication if he ever got that far with the good major – later he realized what Gian-Maria had actually meant and was really glad he had declined.

35\. **Home** \- Home is where the heart is, and Klaus’s heart fits neatly into his shoulder holster.

36\. **Passionate** \- Klaus expected Dorian to become less passionate once they’d had sex, but as the years passed, Dorian’s ardor prevailed.

37\. **Kelpie** \- As the kelpie knelt to let him dismount Klaus mentally shook his head at the relieved looks of the Alphabets – how did they think he got the nickname Iron Klaus in the first place if it wasn’t for his resistance to magic?

38\. **Scales** \- The Scales of Justice weigh lightly for the Earl of Gloria, but then he has deftly replaced the Feather of Truth with one of lead.

39\. **Feminine** \- Klaus’s temporary replacement, Major Miston, forces G to wear all male clothes one day, but he neglects to say anything about the rest of the Alphabet, so showing their protest in solidarity, they all show up wearing feminine garb.

40\. **Lipstick** \- Klaus yelled endlessly when that ridiculous thief got lipstick on his collar, but after his father was visibly pleased to see the stain, he saved the next shirt to wear for the annual Christmas visit.

41\. **Chains** \- “Sticks and stones may break my bones,” Dorian replied blithely to Klaus’s rather mean comment about his wardrobe choices and then he purred, “but whips and chains excite me.”*  
_*=not mine_

42\. **Parachute** \- Kissing Dorian for the first time felt like jumping out of a plane without a parachute, but Klaus had always thought parachutes were for wimps anyway, so he did it again.

43\. **Eyes** \- Eyes are the windows to the soul – and James’s eye is a focused lens of pure dollar green.

44\. **Bait** \- When you hunt for Majors, you had better bait your trap well: your prey’s not interested in the gaudy, but he might have a weakness for the ruthlessly efficient.

45\. **Snake** \- Dorian isn’t the least bit afraid of snakes – but he’s not about to let an opportunity slip him by, so he screams anyway, to give Major von dem Eberbach a chance to rescue him.

46\. **Payback** \- On finding out the utterly irrational hatred Dorian’s mother and sisters have of all things military, Klaus finally – finally! – sees his way of getting payback for all those times the Earl embarrassed him with his mere presence.

47\. **Monopoly** \- During Monopoly Night at Castle Gloria James is only allowed to be the bank, or rather the pawn shop, but that’s okay, because Dorian’s underwear’s worth more than a hotel in Mayfair.

48\. **Girdle** \- “But people will think I’m fat!” Dorian cries and absolutely refuses to wear the girdle until Klaus has given him a (if somewhat backhanded) compliment about his figure.

49\. **Needle** \- When the American agent calls Major von dem Eberbach a needle dick, he has no clue why the curly-haired Brit beside the major suddenly starts laughing hysterically.

50\. **Fairy tale** \- H.C. Andersen’s least known fairy tale, The Earl With The Curly Hair, is often scorned for its homoerotic subtext – Lord Curlyhair the Glorious is obviously utterly infatuated by the dashing Iron Sword Soldier.


End file.
